3.31 AM

My own bed.
My comfort zone, which happens to be the place I write most things. The place which I can be myself with no sugarcoat. And the place I hate, as the real feeling always here to show up when  I'm on my own bed.

3.31 AM - April 16, 2016
Past my bed times. Half times till you go. For as long as it can be.

It is always on my thought for few days. Always.
Don't you be fooled. I've been missing you that much and realising how many days we spent not talking to each other.

I don't know how you doing. Just as much as i don't know if what we went through was even real. I don't know.

I think I'm getting better but not really, I might get a little worse. In such a long time, I realise how I talk (and laugh) on my sleep. I have never been worse.

but I think I love you enough to let you go.

I keep on thinking "should I be seeing you again?" - this is my last chance, but do I need this? It's hard to throw a question and pass the answer all by yourself.

I think you are lighter now afterall.

Just for me to remember how good it feels like to lay beside you, while you watch your favorite cartoon movie. Being your still company, while you work and write. How you lay your head on my lap on a tiring day. How you make time for dinner near my office. How you choose that H row at the cinema, over and over again. How you let me choose your hairstyle. How we end up on a yucky restaurant and joked about it the entire meal.

too many things.

Maybe I think I know you. Maybe I'm wrong.
Maybe the feeling is just not equal.

But I've been missing you, not lately, but everyday. And I'll try to find my happiness, a way to show you that I love you, so I'm letting you go.