Faraway island

I went somewhere, really far
just to realise that I made this far
for me to forget you

this journey was intended to make me forget about you

I want to be happy without you

but I made it this far, because of you

Jealousy

Thursday, 01.50AM (GMT+7)

I lay in bed entirely gone, my body. It's a wreck.
Dead tired from today's press meeting. Long weekend tomorrow, I feel lazy, but so many things running at times. and tomorrow I've decided to go somewhere.

But here I am again, traffic, causing me come home late. 1AM. How tired and emotional. Been working since morning.

And I realise, not a single thought about you leaving me. This has been a crazy week, I'm dead busy, like so dead. But not a single thought about you had gone. Not a single one. You're there in my thought.

I could blame this emotion, today is my first day of period.

But a friend today made me paid attention to Labyrinth's lyric "jealous".

The lyric is everything I thought about you.
I played it once again, when I'm alone, here, in my room.

Then this emotion played the role significantly.
I cried. I realised that, I've been avoiding you for the past two and a half weeks. I'm missing you, if I could say it out loud. I want to say it out loud.

I've been missing you so very much.

I realised that I let myself busy, to avoid you.
I did these to get over you.
to get over about the memories we had.
to restore my heart again.
to be happy alone again.

I accept to be this busy because I want to get over you. I'm faking it now.

I hate that labyrinth song reminds me that I'm jealous. I'm jealous of the way, you're happy without me.

Proses

Hari-hari ini
Aku menghilang
dari hidupmu

Tak kusangka
Kau juga
menghilang

Tak hanya
dari hidupku
namun
dari hidupmu

Aku menhindarimu
namun
Aku ingin tahu
Apa kau tenggelam
Dalam sibuk
Atau
Duniamu baru

Kau tak pernah
Menyapaku lagi

Aku tak pernah
Menanyakan
Kabarmu
lagi

Proses

Ini terasa seperti proses
seperti upaya
seperti cara
melupakan
kalau
pernah
ada
kita

Terlelap di Jalan Pulang

Aku suka bekerja
Bagiku ini distraksi
Atas kemalangan hidup
Cinta tak berbalas

Kubayar semua
dengan kerja keras

Hingga kemudian
Ragaku letih

Aku terlelap

Dalam mesin bergerak maju
Dikendarai
Seorang tak kukenal

Beririsan nasib

Ia memanggilku
"Nona"

Ia bertanya
Kemana arah jalan pulang

Aku
Setengah tersadar

Kutunjukkan
Dimana
Hatiku
Menyebutnya
Rumah

(Not) Serendipity

Why do I have to
Accidentally
Meet you
on your
Birthday

I dont understand
what God
trying to tell me
or
Show me

You are
never alone

Do you
replace me
so soon

Do you
forget
me
just
the moment
you forget
us

I still
in love with you

and
I know
you do

but you
never
alone

hiding
behind
her
back

I feel
my chest
twinge
again

the moment
you left

till
I
never
heard
from
you
back

You're gone

and
I
Still
Love
You

Honey, I'm not replying.

to know that
you think of me

makes me
even more
sad

I miss
you

I found
few new places
that
I want to
share
with you

These places
I want you
to know

Because
I know
You will
like it

But
honey

I'm not
replying

anymore

tho

I still
love
you

Perfect

we meet again
you hug me tight
you are older
wiser
a man you become

you have
that meaningful trophy
on your hand

i know
you deserve that medal

we dance
you share your
happiness
laughing, unaware

you are
so very happy
you whisper
"I love You"

and we dancing
in matching
ornament shirt

taking it
as a start
of a long journey
together

then it vanish
as i open my eyes

reality
born again

If only

If only you say...

"Don't give up on me, Baby"

I might run and forget the pain away.

Hiding

I am rushing to the guy that I call a boss at work.
He is my favorite supervisor, and I don't know, will I ever meet a kind of senior like him in the future.

He knows me, my story. We discuss about so many things work, people, life, and yes... love.

That day was so overwhelming. So I have no idea and running to his desk, sitting on his bean bag.

"Yes dear?"
"Can I hide here, inside your desk?"
"Okay, what happen?"

I start crying like a river.

"I trust you too much I show my crying face so very often to you. Is it a good or a bad thing?"
"Can be both. But i think, it's a good thing."

He tries to not make any useless move and start joking.

I feel, he is funny.

and somehow...

that geeky corny cheesy jokes, just the same like you. The kind of jokes you throw to me, trying to make me laugh and forget my bad day.

and somehow...

I want to hide a little longer.
Cherishing you through the similarities between you and him.

a strange dream

rectangular jaw line

curve from above of your lips

sharp nose and your side mole

messy, human-scented hair

gray hair everywhere

you are

a strange dream

for me

Aku, Klasik

Mungkin tak terlihat
Namun kau perlu tahu
Sebelum lebih jauh

Aku klasik
Senang dengan tenang
dan berdiam diri

Mendengar deru-deru ombak
Terkurung dalam ruang nyaman
Atau
Sekedar bernafas dengan harum buku tua
di genggaman

Di beberapa malam
Aku akan menjadi salah satu
di antara mereka

Berdansa, hilang akal dan mencari ruang riang

Namun

Lebih banyak malam
yang akan kau lewati
Bersama aku yang klasik

Tenang
Diam
dalam
Rintik

Cold

My feet cold

Tonight

I beg you
to
Kiss me
on my
Lips

You give me
Cheek

Finally
You give it up

Your lips

I convince
That this is the last time

Your lips
Cold
Salty
You eat too much
Candy

That is still
I feel
Like the first time
We had
Gentle and
Soft kiss

I left you

Maybe that really means
The last time

Tonight
I feel my feet cold
as cold as

Your lips