Dua puluh dua

aku berlari lepas....

menyentuhi daun-daun selibat dengan telapak halus tanganku

angin menghamburkan helai-helai rambutku hingga kadang menusuk mata

Perih...

aku tetap berlari, sesekali kuiringi dengan berdansa

berputar-putar dengan gemerincing gelang kaki

memetik bunga yg kelihatannya indah

sekejap pun terluka dari tangkai yang tak sengaja ku remas

aku melompat-lompat, aku terbang

aku bernyanyi, sesekali kupandangi wajahku dalam cermin

kemudian aku letih... aku bersedih...

aku diam...

ombak mengajakku bermain...

aku menari lagi, kubisikki senandung kepada musim

aku....titisan kebebasan.

genggam aku...ku kan menjauh pergi...

bersama alunan angin dan gemericik ombak

disantuni oleh matahari dan bintang

mencari sesuatu....yang....tanpa semu

A Letter to Canada

I should've wrote this letter days ago, when I passed your home while waiting for my train to come.
Now, it feels different, everytime I try to commute to home, I remember you 'cause the station just so damn close to yours though your not there anyway.

Almost a month, since we last spoke, and the last time was so delightful until that stupid words of mine made you disappear. I'm not sure though, what makes you go, is it those words I said or is it only the right time to leave me? Not a single answer I get. There you left is silence, too silence it hurts my ears.  I prefer cold messages, hate me for who I am, curse me and we can learn to make up, start all over again.

There are days, which have been so hard for me to get over you, to not waiting for your messages, your call.
So I decide to leave you a greeting on Skype, not sure if you ever saw it or you saw it then never care about the existence.

Everyday I wonder if you're doing good, if you can through the day, if you had your food, if you...ever sometimes wonder about me, like I do.  One thing for sure, I knew that you'll never missed your workout session :) - please don't train too hard, your muscle might explode.

Somehow it was so hard,  everything just reminds me of you. Our song that played on TV, that film we discussed, or your big-dream-city name popped-out around the web.  That is unfair.

Day passes by, I still miss your sweet-smart mouth.
Wonder what happen with your heart.

I know, you might be laughing, thinking how we got this far by an odd first meeting. I know because I did that too, just how you strangely stole my heart with your flirty-empty words, and I love it. I love how smart and wise and flirty and blunt and innocent you can be. I love who you are, except when you forget a thing about me.

Maybe you think I'm a crazy foolish woman to feel this.  I just can't lie.

I keep myself busy, thank God, friends always there to tell me that everything's will be just right, just like before I met you. Well at times, those just didn't work, can't stop me from thinking about you.

I hope you doing fine and God protects you from bad thing. I hope you don't miss your meal time.  I hope you found warm in the upcoming winter, I cut my plan to visit you this time. Be happy and keep traveling around the world, save the story, we might meet one day, tell me everything about it. I will listen until morning sun rises...

Please remain to be a lovely man in whatever good form.  This women will never be good enough to stand beside you, you already a great man yourself. And at least I know, all my worries are nothing, you must be able to overcome it alone.

I don't know if life will bring us back together or we will never met ever.  Kahlil Gibran's once said:

"If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours.... And if they don't, they never were"

So this is a see you again.
I hope you met someone that makes you happier than you are now.

Solitude

“....Nobody likes being alone that much...”

― Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood 

“Why do people have to be this lonely? What's the point of it all? Millions of people in this world, all of them yearning, looking to others to satisfy them, yet isolating themselves. Why? Was the earth put here just to nourish human loneliness?”

― Haruki Murakami, Sputnik Sweetheart 

I don't have to say much. Haruki's words always write my heart out.

Kemudian suatu malam ia keluhkan padaku, rasa lelahnya.
Dengan aneh aku merasa kuat atas ucapannya. Mematahkan pikiranku yang terlalu logis "mana sanggup kubagi bahu ini untuk bersila orang lain"

Aku salah...ketika ia taruhkan bongkah letihnya di pundakku. Aku merasa.... bahagia. Aku merasa... ada lagi cinta.

You've Got Mail

Dengan natural, jari-jari yang seakan terkendali sendiri piawai menekan tombol-tombol abjad maya, sehingga terbentuk se-paragraf kata.  Kalimat yang manis, seperti jatuh cinta.

Menit berselang kecemasan dan kelap-kelip lampu tanda masuk pesan sesaat menghentikan tanya logika.

Sekiranya aku tahu siapa kamu.  Sekiranya kamu tahu siapa aku.

Tidak, manalah kutemukan jawabannya, kecuali perutku yang serasa ingin meledak karena  banyak makhluk berterbangan.  Mungkin kupu-kupu bersayap kembang api sedang patroli.

Kemudian sesaat aku melamun tentang apa yang sedang kulakukan. Virtual.

Layar-layar hangat segenggaman dan jaringan kasat masa membuat 'kita' terasa ada.

Aku ingin percaya, aku ingin tak peduli.  Hingga saatnya nanti, realita menang lawan hati.

Sementara itu...pesanmu akan terus melagu.