Jealousy

Thursday, 01.50AM (GMT+7)

I lay in bed entirely gone, my body. It's a wreck.
Dead tired from today's press meeting. Long weekend tomorrow, I feel lazy, but so many things running at times. and tomorrow I've decided to go somewhere.

But here I am again, traffic, causing me come home late. 1AM. How tired and emotional. Been working since morning.

And I realise, not a single thought about you leaving me. This has been a crazy week, I'm dead busy, like so dead. But not a single thought about you had gone. Not a single one. You're there in my thought.

I could blame this emotion, today is my first day of period.

But a friend today made me paid attention to Labyrinth's lyric "jealous".

The lyric is everything I thought about you.
I played it once again, when I'm alone, here, in my room.

Then this emotion played the role significantly.
I cried. I realised that, I've been avoiding you for the past two and a half weeks. I'm missing you, if I could say it out loud. I want to say it out loud.

I've been missing you so very much.

I realised that I let myself busy, to avoid you.
I did these to get over you.
to get over about the memories we had.
to restore my heart again.
to be happy alone again.

I accept to be this busy because I want to get over you. I'm faking it now.

I hate that labyrinth song reminds me that I'm jealous. I'm jealous of the way, you're happy without me.