Desty

I have this weird thinking since I was a little kid, when it comes to nick names, I have it quite a lot until I can't remember.  However, I can manage to differentiate where of my life stage this friend came from.

"Sty" is from my junior high-schools'

"Dede" is from my senior high-schools'

"Ndes" is from my colleges

"Etina" is from my economics undergraduate

So much more than the above, again, I can't remember.

These names, somehow, makes me feel casual and comfortable - thus, the name, Desty, when someone trying to call me with my full name "Desty" i feel vulnerable. It is a mix between feeling proud and flying thought of who I am. When someone calls me "Desty", I am feeling loved at the same time feeling this someone is going to hurt me.

At home, my mom calls me "Ty" (read: thee) or "Titi" (read: tee tee). Mum and Dad will call me "Desty" if they want to talk seriously or heavy.

All this time, exes, once boyfriends, are one of them that will call me with "Desty" - and yes, I feel weirdly vulnerable.

That is how I weirdly think about name, Name is not that just a name. At least for me.

I recall one night, I asked someone whom I had interest with "Do you know my name?" then he laughs and then sweetly smiling "Desty".