Taking A Good Care of Love

If you notice I'm missing December and January post. You're right.
What was happened with me? It's rare that I didn't wrote anything for my birthday especially.
I've never done that before.

A lot happened between my December and January. I finally, graduate - I get my shit done.
And yes, I met someone special.

***


That December, I still suffocate, waiting for someone to come home.
Yes, someone does come home, but this time a different someone - (Lord, I can't event think about it, your master plan is really the coolest).

It's Donny.

At first, I felt nothing about Donny. He was just that kind guy, I'd love to chat with and be friend with. However, he was really sweet and showed his effort much. Later I found out he is not bad. Now, I fall in love with him.

Donny, he is different from all my superficial exes. He is no asia-pacific director of xyz company.
He is no United Nations leader. He is just a simple funny guy, who cook things. He takes me to another level of loving simple things in life, to love him is a relaxing concept.

Despite the fact that I'm trapped that he need to live miles aways for work and school (I wasn't expecting this kind of living-miles-away again, really) and the struggle to understand each other through these hard separated times, I think he is the only guy I'm seeing right now.

Yes, I do promise to be a 'good' girl this year. I delete all those guys number, and won't answer their texts or calls. It's for me though, not only for Donny.

***

There were days that I can't believe that Donny changed his mind. I'm hurting, we argue though he don't want to let me go.

Then we are together again and some days are cold.

But I love him, now that is for sure.

I learned a lot to become a better woman in this relationship as here goes my favourite saying, I found somewhere in the world wide web:

"My grandmother once told me, 'Relationships are work, honey, and they are not 50/50.  Some days when I get up only feel like giving 10%, then your granddaddy has to give 90% that day. But there is always 100% love.'"

Some days I feel awful, he is busy and grumpy back from the kitchen. I feel I need some affection, but yes we compromise. We need to work on it, the percentage of love, it has to be always 100%.

***

I don't know if I'm feeling hopeful for this relationship.
I just want this love to be light and evolve within times.

As we are in each other's morning and each other's night.
Protecting what should be and what will be.

***

Last Friday night, as we talk through the phone, we are laughing aimlessly.
We don't know what to say - we are that kids again, meeting back in December.

Bursting hearts, we began to fall in love again like the first time.

I said, "Did you promise me something?"

"I did, I'm ordering it"

"What?"

He laughs. It's flowers.

We laugh again together.

Maybe the road will be full of ups and downs. Maybe will be sweet and sour.
At least we know, love as it goes, it has to be taken care.
For love to live-long, if it's not, then it must be our fault.

Dad: The Meaning of Romance

For the xx times, I'm going home with Dad after work. It was a rare night, he bought me a plate of Nasi Goreng, so I can eat in the car, on the way back home.

We were talking like we mean it. He asked me about my recent job interview and how I always pursue things for life.

"Kid, be easy on yourself. You always want to aim for the stars reach that mountain, school and work and things. Might as well think about your private life too..."

He sound worried, I want to laugh loud.
I dated several guys in the past, and I did, think about my private life (read: love life).. yet I know why. I never introduce any of my boyfriend for the past years...so he didn't know.

The conversation goes, this time Dad give his comments about how I keep my stuffs

"You are clumsy just like your Mom. Be neat, Dear. Look at your cracking phone. Be ashamed of it, it's a reflection of your personality - a guy will notice who you are by looking at your phone"

I grin, carelessly. All my exes and BF knows very well about this, yet they loved me even more for that bad habit.

We laugh together.

Until we brought up that sensitive issue about Mom, and how can we love her better. It's a long conversation until...

"and how about you, seeing Mom and her bad habit - you should've known this for too long even when you two were dating Dad."

"I know. Very well. I guess that is just me and how I keep my favorite things. Once I choose it, I keep it forever"

Then I realize why I love him so much.
The very man that I always adore since I was a little baby. The very man who hugged me every now and then. The man who sets unrealistic partner standard for me.

My Dad.

And I know how I want it now, a guy who choose to love me, every day, over and over again.

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